Sunday, January 8, 2017

I, In Beautiful Places

In the tallest skyscrapers, on television, radio and print, on credits along film wrap-ups, too many to mention because a communication major has almost everywhere to be. They say we're lucky to take this degree, lucky to have many careers to pursue. Sometimes I think it's easy to pick, but the hindrances are true.

People are all dreaming, if not talking, where would they be after graduation. Encountering people who seem so sure about what their future would be is something I could be so jealous of. Being able to picture themselves as individuals of profession is something I find so amazing,  at least they know what they want. This is not because I think where I am now is not where I should be or that I was misplaced. It's more about me being confused as to what I am really destined to be. There were countless reflections to my past, to all endeavors I took, to all the communication-related activities I underwent, to no avail. I used to think my intelligence and talents would not suffice what it takes to be a successful woman--a silly thought I couldn't think where it came from.

If I am to write my future, I can't write all the best, but I can play with possibilities. I learned long ago that it does not matter where I rank or that if my grades were equivalent to Bs or Cs, rather it's the joy that I get with everything I do that truly matters. The key word is joy and I see this whenever I'm writing.

I see the possibility only I can look at and imagine. I see myself smiling as I write beautiful thoughts. I see creases on my forehead every time my mind gets blank or every time my thoughts are overflowing that I suddenly can't really pick the proper words to complete my paragraph. I see myself sleeping so soundly after brainstorming a mind-wrecking story. But it's alright because I am too interested to notice.

I have always been so enthusiastic about having a safe haven with a desk, a computer of my own, pieces of documents I still couldn't figure out what's written on, stacks and piles of newspapers and books and a window I could look at and catch a glimpse of the outside world. I needed that to refresh my mind and catch little stories from people below who have no idea that I am making a story out of them. If that sounds like being a crazy writer at a prestigious company, then so be it.

Even blogging which has been relatively unheard of few years back has been a profession I see myself pursuing. Why not? It's a channel to express my thoughts when I feel like I can't hold them back any longer.

There would also be times when I will try to break free from stress because even when you do love what you are doing, you still get tired of it like how it used to be with someone special. But seriously, exploring places to feed the wanderlust in me would be a goal few months from now. I imagine myself getting tanned from beaches, standing tall at peaks of mountains, selfie-ing or even groupie-ing with animals because I believe that facing fears helps someone grow and make them even stronger as a person.

It's too soon to think of my life 10 years ahead but I would still want to be under the roof of my parents. If I am aiming towards a brighter future and a good career, it will be because I am motivated by them. It's true, once a home, always a home. My life began there and will end all the same.

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